Dating rules!!! Sounds absurd, especially in the modern dating scene when everyone is obsessed with ‘Going with the Flow.’ Well, though a liberating chant, going with the flow is confusing and obscure as it sounds. The modern-day dating scene is known for its extremities, while for some it’s not taking responsibility, and accountability, having fun, and never settling, for others who are not looking for the liberating unaccountable experience but commitment it is so confusing to navigate through. Well, that’s when dating rules came in. These are not the set rules that everybody knows or anything. Here are all the rules that you can set for yourself so that it’ll be easy for you to understand your dating partner and steer through the modern-day dating scape correctly while having fun as well.
Different Types Of Rules
There are different stages of dating, or as we call it nowadays different bases of dating. We all know that as we are getting through these different levels, or bases, or stages, we are getting to know each other more and more and thus we act differently at each level. We can not give you rules for every level, definitely not for the 7th base, but maybe on the first move or initial dating stages, we can. The initial dating stages we are talking about include the following:
- Being Available
- First Date
- Early Stages of Dating
Being Available Rules
Do it for yourself
The first and foremost thing when it comes to dating is realizing that you are not just gonna be in a relationship with someone else but with yourself as well. So, before anything else, have some own dating rules and make it clear to yourself that when you are making yourself available you are ready to understand yourself better and willing to accept change. As you’ll be letting another person in your busy life be it for a short or a long while, it won’t be the same. So, be clear to yourself, talk about it with yourself, and only when you are ready to accommodate your own self, go ahead.
Know and establish what you want
As already mentioned, knowing yourself is very important before being available. But, before you start dating, knowing what you want from the other person is as important. You should be clear and honest about what you are looking for, be it casual sex, a long-term serious relationship, or a short-term fun relationship. It is crucial not for you but for the other person as well. You do not want them to have wrong ideas. So, be clear about what you want and establish it for the other person as well as yourself.
Texting Rules for Modern Dating
Upgrade your texting
In the world of the internet where you can connect with anyone anytime anywhere easily over text, evaluating and elevating the texting game is necessary. Do not play any mind games over text, it’s not healthy or cool. Late replies, ghosting, keeping them waiting, and being inconsistent over text, that’s not the best way of communicating. You would not want that to happen to yourself as well. So, whatever it is let the other person know.
Don’t do text bombardment
Communicating well does not mean texting too much. You do not want to be seen as desperate or too eager. Sometimes, you have to be able to understand the other person if they can not be direct with you. Evaluate their texting pattern and see if you are texting too much or if they are texting in one-liners or one-word. If you were having a great time over text but suddenly they are being inconsistent and seem uninterested then do not disregard their disinterestedness and bombard them with messages. Just let them know that you would like things to continue but if they are not on the same page then you would be moving ahead.
First Date Rules In Dating World
Have realistic expectations and no delusions
When you are meeting someone keep in mind that you do not know them yet so having unrealistic expectations like they might be the one can lead to delusions. Which eventually can lead to clouding of your judgment and you might miss a red flag or two. Expectations also lead to disappointment. If you are meeting someone with some preconceived perception and expectation, you’ll either be disillusioned or delusional.
Do not have an aim
This might sound weird but it is not. By not having an aim or a goal, we mean not going on a date thinking you want a set particular thing done like kissing, having sex, or at least ending up liking the person. There is nothing wrong in doing such things on a first date but going out with someone with a set agenda in mind might ruin your chances to have fun.
Stay Safe and alert
Having fun and a good time is nice but look out for yourself as well. When you meet someone on a first date, be it through online dating apps or through friends, you have to be a little more alert than usual. The moment you feel uncomfortable, leave. You do not wanna end up with a pathological liar, cheater, abuser, con, or anything bad. So, choose safe public places and be a little cautious.
Have short-duration dates
Especially for your first date, do not let it be longer than 2hrs. What if you end up not having a good time and it turns out to be a bad date, but you have your whole day planned out with the person? And even if you are having a good time and great conversation, you might wanna slow things down as spending a whole day with that person might trigger your delusions and cloud your judgment. If it all goes well, plan a longer second date.
Rules In The Early Stages Of Dating
Don’t go back to your exes
Wait, don’t worry, we are not talking about you getting back to your exes. We are talking about you not stopping going back to your past relationships and talking about your exes. However healing this experience might feel to you, it won’t be the same case for the other person. To be honest, they (and we as well) will be annoyed. So, don’t go back to your exes.
Do an easy pace rather than a fast pace or slow pace
By easy pace, we mean your own pace, something with which you are comfortable. Do not get intimidated by how other people do things. The relationship is between you two people, so no one other than you two knows better about it.
However much we talk about rules and point boundaries, the heart is not so easy to control thing. That is not to say you can not follow rules. Because it is hard to control and regulate one feelings and heart, we come up with rules to avoid hurt and disappointment. That being said, the key to healthy relationships and successful dating is something people figure out during their lifetimes, and experience individually. So, try to follow the rules you think will help you out, and leave the rest of it to Cupid!